FUCKIN 'COONS
I left the fucking window to my truck open last night. I walk up to it this morning at 8 and I was like, "aww shit". There were tracks all over my hood; they jumped from the hood to the window. I left a package of Zours (DAMN YOU MAT FOR GETTING ME HOOKED) that I had bought a long ass time ago; the last time I drove up from the OC. 3 months ago. Also they got in the cough drops too. For some reason the keys that I left in the cup holder were on the floor under the ignition. I guess they wanted to drive but got too loopy off the cough drops. That's good because its not wise to drive intoxicated, I bet they don't even have a license. Now there are tracks all over my seat and armrest. I wanna leave food out on the driveway and sit with a gun. Or bait food with like Alka-Selzer. Those fuckers. What do raccoons do for society...NOTHING. They just go through our garbage and make a mess. Or my truck and steal my candy. That was MY candy. If I was FEZ, I would hunt them with two sticks. Well now instead of cleaning my room I have to clean the car, because she's my baby; she's my lonesome lovely, bong gong be gong gong...Sorry, Eek A Mouse.
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