South Lake Tahoe, Vegas Style
So like any other family trip, it started off with lagging. Especially coming from my brother. Darren lags like a little bitch; target time to leave, 2 o'clock, time we left, 4 o'clock. First off, he was doing his work stuff, which is fine. Then we had to drop off this stupid little wenier dog. We stopped by the Surf Shop in town and got a vest for Rob, since it was his birthday. I bought some sun glasses since I haven't had a decent pair since high school. They're polarized "Electric's" and way comfortable. On the way to Krazy Kerri's, the fucking rat, that had to sit on my lap, it can't sit in the back of the truck even with a camper shell. The stupid thing kept on farting; they were so bad that I kept on smelling them on the rest of the way, even after we dropped it off. I came home and wore that same jacket, and the fart smell was embeded in the jacket, I hope it comes out after a wash. It's such a small dog too, you'd think that it couldn't smell this bad. I thought we were gonna drop the dog off and keep going. Wrong, we had to have dinner with Krasy Kerri, who was bitching the whole time how Darren wasn't going to be here this weekend. She also complained about this chick at her work, and other "degrading" comments that I made, like calling Darren a little girl and/or little bitch for his lagging. Which I don't think is degrading to women, only to Darren. She is so fucking nutz, she thinks that the whole world has to see everything her way. I'm like LOOK BIATCH, the world doesn't revolve around your fucking uber-feminist ass. She wants everybody to conform to her thinking, and thats crazy, thats why she's Krazy Kerri. That and I think she's annoying, good thing she was kicked to the curb with her fucking rat, if I had to be nice to her or that stinky dog for one more day...but you don't want to hear about Krazy Kerri, JUST GETTIN WASTED.
We got on the road at 8 and got to Tahoe at 12. The snow was beautiful. It was a nice drive because I bought brews to drink on the way up. I love drinking on long road trips, it makes the drive so much faster. Good thing I was there though. I always have a good sense of direction no matter how hammered I am, not that I was that drunk. First we were switching freeways. Darren had to get off on the next exit, I said, "Darren thats the exit." He said ok and I put the map away and continued to play with my iPod. After a little bit Darren asks, "Hey, wern't we supposed to get on another freeway?" I was like, "You dork, I told you when to get off." He tried to blame it on me, but then I came up with a solid argument that it was his fault since HE WAS SITTING BEHIND THE WHEEL. So I found another way that took us on a detour through this road where there is NOTHING, I mean if you wanted to kill somebody, this would be the place to drop the body. We went a back road way that we've been once before, just once. I knew we had to make a left in this po-dunk town. It was coming up, everybody made a left, except Darren. I saw the sign probably a hundred feet before the left. Darren came up closer and I was like, "ummm Darren, you're not gonna make the left?" He didn't listen and said that we didn't have to. We passed through the intersection and the street sign said the highway we wanted. He got pissed, I laughed and made fun of him, it was great. Once we hit the snow I had to pee. We pulled over and peed on the side of the road, nobody was coming, then we saw headlights, and I thought it was a cop coming. It wasn't, but Darren already chucked his beer. I hope an animal drank the poor guy.
We finally got to the condo, where we meet up with Rob (30th birthday boy), Kevin (his parents owned the condo we stayed at), and Todd (Darrens friend that lives in the city and went to high school/college with Darren). We had a few beers, then headed out. We went to the bar in a casino down the street called "Lakeside". It was great because the drinks are so cheep, $2 wells, $3 call-its. Its how it should be, we were trading off 8 dollar rounds for all of us. The others saw a waitress that served them earlier at another resturant and they talked to her. She was older, I don't know how old, but her friend had a 19 year old son. So they had to be at least 35 or 40. I got her phone number, I was proud, I've been picking up the older ones recently, first 25 now 35, soon I'll be picking up a 80 year old...thats not a good thought...We got back to the condo at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. I thought it was before 2 since they were still serving drinks, I forgot that we were in a great state that served all night. I drunk dialed Meera, and woke her up, I felt bad once I looked at the clock. I was really drunk. Rob and I shared a room and he was so wasted that his junk kept on falling out of his chonies while getting in to bed, I tried not to look but he kept on talking to me and every time I looked he got in and out of bed.
We woke up at 10 or 11, got breakfast, then headed for the sloaps. The breakfast was great, at the same casino and its so cheep. They have $2.99 breakfast speacials in the morning and its grub. Coffee is $1.95, more than half your meal. We got to Heavenly and it was packed. We had to park on a side street not too far away but had to take a bus to the lifts. We had special tickets that were 45 bucks since Brennin's girlfriend works there.
We get on the lifts and start to move to the spot where we're supposed to meet everybody else. I had a hard time boarding since my legs still don't have the same muscle that they used to before I broke my leg. My gimp leg started to hurt in not a good way. I didn't want to risk breaking it again, even though that was more than a year ago. On the way to the meeting place, I fell multiple times, and got sprayed twice, on the same fall. So once we got to the "Sky Deck" at the top of Heavenly mountain, I just chilled and drank. The people we met up there had not eaten lunch yet so I chilled with them. Then once they were gonna head out the other group came back for a break and chilled with me, so I was never alone. It was wonderful. It was a beautiful day, 60 degrees and not a cloud in they sky. It was so warm I sat with out my jacket and just a t-shirt on. Comming up on the ski lifts you could see the whole tahoe basin. Even though the whole lake was fogged in, it was still a beautiful and amazing view. The snowy mountains made me wish I brought my camera. Since we didn't get there till 12:30 and the mountain closes at 4:00, the others only got 5 or so runs in. We waited for the bus, got over waiting, and then walked to the car. When we got to the car, so did the bus, wonderful.
We got back to the condo. We were all tired, we showered and waited for the best gift to Rob that we could all have gotten for him. Besides the sweet O'Neill vest that me and Darren got him, all 8 of us pitched in for not one, BUT TWO, strippers. The strippers were hot! The funniest part though was that their stereo didn't work. THE IPOD SAVES THE DAY. Since I just purchased the iTrip, I could play the iPod through an FM frequency. That alone was worth buying the iTrip. Best song that I put on, 2 bitches by 2 Short, it was funny. They first had a tag team with Rob, as in a lap dance in front of us all. They played some games, like put the dollar bill on Rob and they would take it off of him. They had vierd rules, like no putting it in armpits or toes. They wern't that hard to remeber since it was stuff we wouldn't normally do. They reached into his pants for bills though. One picked it up with her kitty off of his face, I couldn't believe that one. We talked about that afterwards, money is supposed to be one of the most dirtiest things you have to touch daily and she put that in her cooch. Whatever. They also had him do a body luge, where they'd pour a beer down their body and Rob had to drink it off the stomach. So after people were done taking body shots and things off of their bodies and getting dances, they prepaired for the second part of the show. While they were changing in the bedroom, the bodygaurd asked me if I had any girl on girl music. I was like, "what the hell does that sound like?" since I don't see a girl with another girl often, infact I don't see a girl with me often. He said some mellow music. I thought about it and I had the perscription, Greyboy, its acid jazz. They got a blanket out and layed it on the floor. They said that there was to be no touching or talking, it had to be quiet for them to get in the mood, like there was a bubble around them. Lots of rules. Still, we were all excited, smerking at each other. They started kissing and stuff, then got into some heavy petting. Lets just say it got hard core real quick, and thats an understatement; one girl was all over the other and then they'd switch. It was like a hard core porno right infront of us. At points you would look at the others faces and we were all just fixaited on to what was unfolding infront of us. We didn't have a problem being quiet, I think we were too shocked to talk in the first place. Darren started to giggle when he saw Todds face which was a look inbetween disgust and intrigue. I looked around and I saw that the bodyguard was looking at some poster on the wall. I don't care how many times I would see that, I still be very interested everytime. Then to top it off they brought out toys. After it was over we all took a long drink. I was talking to the bodyguard and I told him he had the best job, but he didn't get paid, he just got whatever the girls tipped him. I would so rather do that than this shitty job I'm in.
So after that we were fired up to go out. We went to the Lakeside casino, then we went to the night club in Harris called "Altitude". Every hour at this place the go-go dancers switch with topless dancers. Its funny because the floor would swell around them at this point with dudes just staring at them. We got a table in the back, which was some cash, but it came with a bottle of Kettle One. It was great. So it was probably about the same amount as getting drinks. It felt like we had box seats to a sporting event except it was at a club. While talking to girls, one said to me that I had the same name as her husband, my response, "good choice". I got a phone number of another girl that I danced with her most of the night. The others left to go gamble after the bottle was finished. I danced and then met them outside of the club in the casino. There was a girl that was following them around that was kinda annoying. Apparently she had a kid too. I lost some money on the tables and then we went back to the condo for sleep at 6:00.
People were up at 9:00, so we all got up. I was still drunk, well wasted, but I could feel my hangover coming on, and it was already a bad headace. I knew it was going to be a horrible hangover because I drank from 6 to 6. Which 12 hours isn't the longest I've been drinking, for those of you that have read this site before, but it is still harsh. I asked Kevin if I could share a smoke with him, the ULTIMATE hangover cure. I felt good, and pritty wasted again. We all cleaned up the condo and got breakfast at lakeview. After breakfast we all attacked the Craps table. I didn't know the game before, but the dealer gave us tutorials and others knew how to play the game. I came out 4 bucks on top, but at one point I doubled my money.
The drive back wasn't so long, but it felt like it. We were so tired and our brains didn't work well at all. Both of us were on edge a little. Darren more than me. I was glad to be in my own bed, which I hit up at 8 o'clock at night.
We got on the road at 8 and got to Tahoe at 12. The snow was beautiful. It was a nice drive because I bought brews to drink on the way up. I love drinking on long road trips, it makes the drive so much faster. Good thing I was there though. I always have a good sense of direction no matter how hammered I am, not that I was that drunk. First we were switching freeways. Darren had to get off on the next exit, I said, "Darren thats the exit." He said ok and I put the map away and continued to play with my iPod. After a little bit Darren asks, "Hey, wern't we supposed to get on another freeway?" I was like, "You dork, I told you when to get off." He tried to blame it on me, but then I came up with a solid argument that it was his fault since HE WAS SITTING BEHIND THE WHEEL. So I found another way that took us on a detour through this road where there is NOTHING, I mean if you wanted to kill somebody, this would be the place to drop the body. We went a back road way that we've been once before, just once. I knew we had to make a left in this po-dunk town. It was coming up, everybody made a left, except Darren. I saw the sign probably a hundred feet before the left. Darren came up closer and I was like, "ummm Darren, you're not gonna make the left?" He didn't listen and said that we didn't have to. We passed through the intersection and the street sign said the highway we wanted. He got pissed, I laughed and made fun of him, it was great. Once we hit the snow I had to pee. We pulled over and peed on the side of the road, nobody was coming, then we saw headlights, and I thought it was a cop coming. It wasn't, but Darren already chucked his beer. I hope an animal drank the poor guy.
We finally got to the condo, where we meet up with Rob (30th birthday boy), Kevin (his parents owned the condo we stayed at), and Todd (Darrens friend that lives in the city and went to high school/college with Darren). We had a few beers, then headed out. We went to the bar in a casino down the street called "Lakeside". It was great because the drinks are so cheep, $2 wells, $3 call-its. Its how it should be, we were trading off 8 dollar rounds for all of us. The others saw a waitress that served them earlier at another resturant and they talked to her. She was older, I don't know how old, but her friend had a 19 year old son. So they had to be at least 35 or 40. I got her phone number, I was proud, I've been picking up the older ones recently, first 25 now 35, soon I'll be picking up a 80 year old...thats not a good thought...We got back to the condo at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. I thought it was before 2 since they were still serving drinks, I forgot that we were in a great state that served all night. I drunk dialed Meera, and woke her up, I felt bad once I looked at the clock. I was really drunk. Rob and I shared a room and he was so wasted that his junk kept on falling out of his chonies while getting in to bed, I tried not to look but he kept on talking to me and every time I looked he got in and out of bed.
We woke up at 10 or 11, got breakfast, then headed for the sloaps. The breakfast was great, at the same casino and its so cheep. They have $2.99 breakfast speacials in the morning and its grub. Coffee is $1.95, more than half your meal. We got to Heavenly and it was packed. We had to park on a side street not too far away but had to take a bus to the lifts. We had special tickets that were 45 bucks since Brennin's girlfriend works there.
We get on the lifts and start to move to the spot where we're supposed to meet everybody else. I had a hard time boarding since my legs still don't have the same muscle that they used to before I broke my leg. My gimp leg started to hurt in not a good way. I didn't want to risk breaking it again, even though that was more than a year ago. On the way to the meeting place, I fell multiple times, and got sprayed twice, on the same fall. So once we got to the "Sky Deck" at the top of Heavenly mountain, I just chilled and drank. The people we met up there had not eaten lunch yet so I chilled with them. Then once they were gonna head out the other group came back for a break and chilled with me, so I was never alone. It was wonderful. It was a beautiful day, 60 degrees and not a cloud in they sky. It was so warm I sat with out my jacket and just a t-shirt on. Comming up on the ski lifts you could see the whole tahoe basin. Even though the whole lake was fogged in, it was still a beautiful and amazing view. The snowy mountains made me wish I brought my camera. Since we didn't get there till 12:30 and the mountain closes at 4:00, the others only got 5 or so runs in. We waited for the bus, got over waiting, and then walked to the car. When we got to the car, so did the bus, wonderful.
We got back to the condo. We were all tired, we showered and waited for the best gift to Rob that we could all have gotten for him. Besides the sweet O'Neill vest that me and Darren got him, all 8 of us pitched in for not one, BUT TWO, strippers. The strippers were hot! The funniest part though was that their stereo didn't work. THE IPOD SAVES THE DAY. Since I just purchased the iTrip, I could play the iPod through an FM frequency. That alone was worth buying the iTrip. Best song that I put on, 2 bitches by 2 Short, it was funny. They first had a tag team with Rob, as in a lap dance in front of us all. They played some games, like put the dollar bill on Rob and they would take it off of him. They had vierd rules, like no putting it in armpits or toes. They wern't that hard to remeber since it was stuff we wouldn't normally do. They reached into his pants for bills though. One picked it up with her kitty off of his face, I couldn't believe that one. We talked about that afterwards, money is supposed to be one of the most dirtiest things you have to touch daily and she put that in her cooch. Whatever. They also had him do a body luge, where they'd pour a beer down their body and Rob had to drink it off the stomach. So after people were done taking body shots and things off of their bodies and getting dances, they prepaired for the second part of the show. While they were changing in the bedroom, the bodygaurd asked me if I had any girl on girl music. I was like, "what the hell does that sound like?" since I don't see a girl with another girl often, infact I don't see a girl with me often. He said some mellow music. I thought about it and I had the perscription, Greyboy, its acid jazz. They got a blanket out and layed it on the floor. They said that there was to be no touching or talking, it had to be quiet for them to get in the mood, like there was a bubble around them. Lots of rules. Still, we were all excited, smerking at each other. They started kissing and stuff, then got into some heavy petting. Lets just say it got hard core real quick, and thats an understatement; one girl was all over the other and then they'd switch. It was like a hard core porno right infront of us. At points you would look at the others faces and we were all just fixaited on to what was unfolding infront of us. We didn't have a problem being quiet, I think we were too shocked to talk in the first place. Darren started to giggle when he saw Todds face which was a look inbetween disgust and intrigue. I looked around and I saw that the bodyguard was looking at some poster on the wall. I don't care how many times I would see that, I still be very interested everytime. Then to top it off they brought out toys. After it was over we all took a long drink. I was talking to the bodyguard and I told him he had the best job, but he didn't get paid, he just got whatever the girls tipped him. I would so rather do that than this shitty job I'm in.
So after that we were fired up to go out. We went to the Lakeside casino, then we went to the night club in Harris called "Altitude". Every hour at this place the go-go dancers switch with topless dancers. Its funny because the floor would swell around them at this point with dudes just staring at them. We got a table in the back, which was some cash, but it came with a bottle of Kettle One. It was great. So it was probably about the same amount as getting drinks. It felt like we had box seats to a sporting event except it was at a club. While talking to girls, one said to me that I had the same name as her husband, my response, "good choice". I got a phone number of another girl that I danced with her most of the night. The others left to go gamble after the bottle was finished. I danced and then met them outside of the club in the casino. There was a girl that was following them around that was kinda annoying. Apparently she had a kid too. I lost some money on the tables and then we went back to the condo for sleep at 6:00.
People were up at 9:00, so we all got up. I was still drunk, well wasted, but I could feel my hangover coming on, and it was already a bad headace. I knew it was going to be a horrible hangover because I drank from 6 to 6. Which 12 hours isn't the longest I've been drinking, for those of you that have read this site before, but it is still harsh. I asked Kevin if I could share a smoke with him, the ULTIMATE hangover cure. I felt good, and pritty wasted again. We all cleaned up the condo and got breakfast at lakeview. After breakfast we all attacked the Craps table. I didn't know the game before, but the dealer gave us tutorials and others knew how to play the game. I came out 4 bucks on top, but at one point I doubled my money.
The drive back wasn't so long, but it felt like it. We were so tired and our brains didn't work well at all. Both of us were on edge a little. Darren more than me. I was glad to be in my own bed, which I hit up at 8 o'clock at night.
posted by The Adventures of Dustin at 1:53 PM
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