I'll Make Your Mark!

Putting a handle of Makers Mark to your lips and taking a few good chugs, slam the bottle down, dry heave a couple of times, and then cracking open a natty ice after that; is a great way to start a hangover. But fuck; I hardly get hangovers anymore, I just feel tired the next day. Unless I'm drinking gin, that shit always fucks my brain up.



Sometimes you get thoughts rattling around in your head you don't want to think about or dwell on and the only thing to do is drown them with booze or music. But it has to be good, loud, fast music that makes you sorta def for a few hours. But with booze, it could be bad booze like Papov Vodka, good beer like Heineken, or anything that has an alcohol percentage on the label. Hell, cough syrup works sometimes, although I don't recommend it. It's sad to admit, but burying yourself in work does it too.



But don't think I'm superman, I still get the drinking shits...speaking of which.



I don't know why people don't like having butt pee. I mean, yeah you don't have control over holding the liquid. But you're in and out of the can so fast, even clean up is quick.

Thanks for the Love

I just want to draw attention to a comment sombody left on a post not too long ago:



Heidi Oceanview said...
Why did you stop blogging? Took me a good 3 days to read through all of your stuff. Did you convert to Christianity and now speak at schools about the effect of alcoholism? Or did your liver just give out...?Too Bad. Entertaining as hell. Sorry you're bald.



It makes me feel good that people who don't know me read my blog. (God, I hope I don't know Heidi Oceanview; sorry if I do). To address some of your concerns Heidi:

1) I have not stopped drinking. My liver is still chugging along. Don't worry, when it dies I have a good doctor buddy of mine who has me on the waiting list for a liver transplant. I told him to throw me on there twice, because a replacement liver doesn't last as long as my originial manufactured one.

2) I haven't been to church in a really long time (I have a fear of bursting into flames upon entry); I am also not a good role model for kids to listen to. When I was in college, I was speaking to my friends Dorm kids, on a pannel with five other people. Sombody asked how much I study in my major and how long to I spend on homework. I told them I don't study much, just the day before a test; and I don't have much homework in my major. My friend gave me a glare and said, "you can't tell them that; we're trying to motivate them to do better and work harder in school". I made it up to the kids by going on a beer run for them. My friend was glad she didn't have to go on another beer run for the under 21'ers.

3) I guess this last one isn't a concern of yours but more of mine; 'sorry your bald'? I didn't realize I complain about that often. I'm over it, I save a lot of money on hair cuts. I just look for a girl that has thick hair so my kids have a chance.

So, for all those like Ms. Oceanview, who enjoy my writings; please stop by more often. I will write more of my drunken expeditions. Peace, Love, and Shafadedness forever.

I'm Back and I come out fighting like Mike Tyson!

Last night we went to the Giants game, we were gonna scalp tickets. We needed three tickets, everybody else was sitting in the lower level. So I said I’d deal with it. Plus we had a parking pass that we could sell and I was going to trade it for a ticket. So I walked around and I couldn’t find tickets in our section. And all the scalpers (all husslers of course) kept on saying, “I’ll give you five bucks for the parking pass” and kept on trying to grab it from me. If you drive up to the lot it’s 30 bucks. And I said no give me 30 and then they’d say ten. So after the fifth guy trying to get it from me for five bucks, actually this kid was young; not even twenty. And at this point I got my ghetto talk on, Husslin' Dus'n was in effect. And there were these two chicks sitting in their car at the stop light, which these two kids were trying to sell tickets to while I was talking to them. And they said, “man, you can’t get 30 bucks for that shit.”

I said, "watch me."

I went up to the ladies and I asked if they had a parking pass, they said no. I said I’ll sell it to them for 30 bucks, and they asked how much it was at the gate and I told them 30. They said they would give me twenty but handed me twenty five. And I was ear to ear (because in reality there was no way I was gonna get 30 unless I posed as a ticket taker or something) So I was flashing the twenty five bucks, “did you see that, DID YOU SEE THAT!?”

“man, you said thirty”

“aww, shit; twenty five dollars” Showing the bills to both of them and as I walked away I kept on shouting, “I DON’T EVEN DO THIS SHIT FOR A LIVING! I DON’T EVEN DO THIS SHIT FOR A LIVING!” Then I got two tickets for 25 bucks each and a third for 20. Face value online is 40 I believe. The guy kept on saying, "shit, give me something; an extra five bucks." I gave him two beers out of my back pack. I still rolled into the stadium with ten.

Also, while I was trying to buy tickets, this one dude offered me to get me a hooker who he claimed looked exactly like Beyonce. I wanted to get tickets not herpes. And I wasn’t interested in it, in fact it took me a second to figure out what he was talking about; I’m not up and up on the hooker slang…if he was a street pharmacist… But he kept talking. “200 dollas for an hour, 1800 for the day. Alright, I’ll give you the playa price of 180” If I was a player, why would I need to get a hooker?

So once we got inside, we find a section that has a group of seats together. But I had to sit away from the group. Then I started talking to this cute chick and her not as cute friend, both were sitting infront of me. Then Nick came over and we talked to them for practically the whole game. I was surprised, Nick was a good wing man, I told him to distract the not as cute one while I got the cutie’s number. I got it successfully and it was her real number. I made an entry into my phone and I had her double check it. Her name was Erica, but for some reason I wrote in her name as Eric. She’s all, “you forgot the a”…d’oh! Oh well, better I figure it out then and there, rather then wonder who Eric is and why do I have a dudes number in my phone. So it was a good game. Giants lost but even on a regular game I don’t care about that