South Lake Tahoe, Vegas Style

So like any other family trip, it started off with lagging. Especially coming from my brother. Darren lags like a little bitch; target time to leave, 2 o'clock, time we left, 4 o'clock. First off, he was doing his work stuff, which is fine. Then we had to drop off this stupid little wenier dog. We stopped by the Surf Shop in town and got a vest for Rob, since it was his birthday. I bought some sun glasses since I haven't had a decent pair since high school. They're polarized "Electric's" and way comfortable. On the way to Krazy Kerri's, the fucking rat, that had to sit on my lap, it can't sit in the back of the truck even with a camper shell. The stupid thing kept on farting; they were so bad that I kept on smelling them on the rest of the way, even after we dropped it off. I came home and wore that same jacket, and the fart smell was embeded in the jacket, I hope it comes out after a wash. It's such a small dog too, you'd think that it couldn't smell this bad. I thought we were gonna drop the dog off and keep going. Wrong, we had to have dinner with Krasy Kerri, who was bitching the whole time how Darren wasn't going to be here this weekend. She also complained about this chick at her work, and other "degrading" comments that I made, like calling Darren a little girl and/or little bitch for his lagging. Which I don't think is degrading to women, only to Darren. She is so fucking nutz, she thinks that the whole world has to see everything her way. I'm like LOOK BIATCH, the world doesn't revolve around your fucking uber-feminist ass. She wants everybody to conform to her thinking, and thats crazy, thats why she's Krazy Kerri. That and I think she's annoying, good thing she was kicked to the curb with her fucking rat, if I had to be nice to her or that stinky dog for one more day...but you don't want to hear about Krazy Kerri, JUST GETTIN WASTED.

We got on the road at 8 and got to Tahoe at 12. The snow was beautiful. It was a nice drive because I bought brews to drink on the way up. I love drinking on long road trips, it makes the drive so much faster. Good thing I was there though. I always have a good sense of direction no matter how hammered I am, not that I was that drunk. First we were switching freeways. Darren had to get off on the next exit, I said, "Darren thats the exit." He said ok and I put the map away and continued to play with my iPod. After a little bit Darren asks, "Hey, wern't we supposed to get on another freeway?" I was like, "You dork, I told you when to get off." He tried to blame it on me, but then I came up with a solid argument that it was his fault since HE WAS SITTING BEHIND THE WHEEL. So I found another way that took us on a detour through this road where there is NOTHING, I mean if you wanted to kill somebody, this would be the place to drop the body. We went a back road way that we've been once before, just once. I knew we had to make a left in this po-dunk town. It was coming up, everybody made a left, except Darren. I saw the sign probably a hundred feet before the left. Darren came up closer and I was like, "ummm Darren, you're not gonna make the left?" He didn't listen and said that we didn't have to. We passed through the intersection and the street sign said the highway we wanted. He got pissed, I laughed and made fun of him, it was great. Once we hit the snow I had to pee. We pulled over and peed on the side of the road, nobody was coming, then we saw headlights, and I thought it was a cop coming. It wasn't, but Darren already chucked his beer. I hope an animal drank the poor guy.

We finally got to the condo, where we meet up with Rob (30th birthday boy), Kevin (his parents owned the condo we stayed at), and Todd (Darrens friend that lives in the city and went to high school/college with Darren). We had a few beers, then headed out. We went to the bar in a casino down the street called "Lakeside". It was great because the drinks are so cheep, $2 wells, $3 call-its. Its how it should be, we were trading off 8 dollar rounds for all of us. The others saw a waitress that served them earlier at another resturant and they talked to her. She was older, I don't know how old, but her friend had a 19 year old son. So they had to be at least 35 or 40. I got her phone number, I was proud, I've been picking up the older ones recently, first 25 now 35, soon I'll be picking up a 80 year old...thats not a good thought...We got back to the condo at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. I thought it was before 2 since they were still serving drinks, I forgot that we were in a great state that served all night. I drunk dialed Meera, and woke her up, I felt bad once I looked at the clock. I was really drunk. Rob and I shared a room and he was so wasted that his junk kept on falling out of his chonies while getting in to bed, I tried not to look but he kept on talking to me and every time I looked he got in and out of bed.

We woke up at 10 or 11, got breakfast, then headed for the sloaps. The breakfast was great, at the same casino and its so cheep. They have $2.99 breakfast speacials in the morning and its grub. Coffee is $1.95, more than half your meal. We got to Heavenly and it was packed. We had to park on a side street not too far away but had to take a bus to the lifts. We had special tickets that were 45 bucks since Brennin's girlfriend works there.

We get on the lifts and start to move to the spot where we're supposed to meet everybody else. I had a hard time boarding since my legs still don't have the same muscle that they used to before I broke my leg. My gimp leg started to hurt in not a good way. I didn't want to risk breaking it again, even though that was more than a year ago. On the way to the meeting place, I fell multiple times, and got sprayed twice, on the same fall. So once we got to the "Sky Deck" at the top of Heavenly mountain, I just chilled and drank. The people we met up there had not eaten lunch yet so I chilled with them. Then once they were gonna head out the other group came back for a break and chilled with me, so I was never alone. It was wonderful. It was a beautiful day, 60 degrees and not a cloud in they sky. It was so warm I sat with out my jacket and just a t-shirt on. Comming up on the ski lifts you could see the whole tahoe basin. Even though the whole lake was fogged in, it was still a beautiful and amazing view. The snowy mountains made me wish I brought my camera. Since we didn't get there till 12:30 and the mountain closes at 4:00, the others only got 5 or so runs in. We waited for the bus, got over waiting, and then walked to the car. When we got to the car, so did the bus, wonderful.

We got back to the condo. We were all tired, we showered and waited for the best gift to Rob that we could all have gotten for him. Besides the sweet O'Neill vest that me and Darren got him, all 8 of us pitched in for not one, BUT TWO, strippers. The strippers were hot! The funniest part though was that their stereo didn't work. THE IPOD SAVES THE DAY. Since I just purchased the iTrip, I could play the iPod through an FM frequency. That alone was worth buying the iTrip. Best song that I put on, 2 bitches by 2 Short, it was funny. They first had a tag team with Rob, as in a lap dance in front of us all. They played some games, like put the dollar bill on Rob and they would take it off of him. They had vierd rules, like no putting it in armpits or toes. They wern't that hard to remeber since it was stuff we wouldn't normally do. They reached into his pants for bills though. One picked it up with her kitty off of his face, I couldn't believe that one. We talked about that afterwards, money is supposed to be one of the most dirtiest things you have to touch daily and she put that in her cooch. Whatever. They also had him do a body luge, where they'd pour a beer down their body and Rob had to drink it off the stomach. So after people were done taking body shots and things off of their bodies and getting dances, they prepaired for the second part of the show. While they were changing in the bedroom, the bodygaurd asked me if I had any girl on girl music. I was like, "what the hell does that sound like?" since I don't see a girl with another girl often, infact I don't see a girl with me often. He said some mellow music. I thought about it and I had the perscription, Greyboy, its acid jazz. They got a blanket out and layed it on the floor. They said that there was to be no touching or talking, it had to be quiet for them to get in the mood, like there was a bubble around them. Lots of rules. Still, we were all excited, smerking at each other. They started kissing and stuff, then got into some heavy petting. Lets just say it got hard core real quick, and thats an understatement; one girl was all over the other and then they'd switch. It was like a hard core porno right infront of us. At points you would look at the others faces and we were all just fixaited on to what was unfolding infront of us. We didn't have a problem being quiet, I think we were too shocked to talk in the first place. Darren started to giggle when he saw Todds face which was a look inbetween disgust and intrigue. I looked around and I saw that the bodyguard was looking at some poster on the wall. I don't care how many times I would see that, I still be very interested everytime. Then to top it off they brought out toys. After it was over we all took a long drink. I was talking to the bodyguard and I told him he had the best job, but he didn't get paid, he just got whatever the girls tipped him. I would so rather do that than this shitty job I'm in.

So after that we were fired up to go out. We went to the Lakeside casino, then we went to the night club in Harris called "Altitude". Every hour at this place the go-go dancers switch with topless dancers. Its funny because the floor would swell around them at this point with dudes just staring at them. We got a table in the back, which was some cash, but it came with a bottle of Kettle One. It was great. So it was probably about the same amount as getting drinks. It felt like we had box seats to a sporting event except it was at a club. While talking to girls, one said to me that I had the same name as her husband, my response, "good choice". I got a phone number of another girl that I danced with her most of the night. The others left to go gamble after the bottle was finished. I danced and then met them outside of the club in the casino. There was a girl that was following them around that was kinda annoying. Apparently she had a kid too. I lost some money on the tables and then we went back to the condo for sleep at 6:00.

People were up at 9:00, so we all got up. I was still drunk, well wasted, but I could feel my hangover coming on, and it was already a bad headace. I knew it was going to be a horrible hangover because I drank from 6 to 6. Which 12 hours isn't the longest I've been drinking, for those of you that have read this site before, but it is still harsh. I asked Kevin if I could share a smoke with him, the ULTIMATE hangover cure. I felt good, and pritty wasted again. We all cleaned up the condo and got breakfast at lakeview. After breakfast we all attacked the Craps table. I didn't know the game before, but the dealer gave us tutorials and others knew how to play the game. I came out 4 bucks on top, but at one point I doubled my money.

The drive back wasn't so long, but it felt like it. We were so tired and our brains didn't work well at all. Both of us were on edge a little. Darren more than me. I was glad to be in my own bed, which I hit up at 8 o'clock at night.

Moon Shining

The best thing about NorCal, the stars. I mean I can see them so brightly, they're so beautiful. I saw a shooting star the other night, I wished for something special. It might have been a firework; I mean it was so low, BUT WHO THE FUCK IS OUT HERE?!?!? Hehe, ok, its late, I just wanted to say that. I BURN ONE DOWN FOR ALL MY HOMIES!

Starting off the New Year How I Like It

This New Year was the best I've ever had, I'm sure you've heard many variations to this story already. But I haven't read them, maybe I should, but I like going off the cuff. This story has nothing to do with Asian girls that I wanted to get with or anything, its purely about GETTING WASTED.

It started off Thursday night, well Friday morning; when Meera, Dana, Andy, and Eric, rolled into Half Moon Bay at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was going to take a nap and wake up when they got here, but I couldn't sleep. So I waited, like a kid waits for Christmas morning to open his presents; except my presents were my friends and pot. They called me from my road, which I know there's only one spot past my house where you can get cell reception. Andy couldn't recognize my driveway, which in his defense, looks like every other driveway at 3 in the morning after 6 to 7 hours of driving. Plus it was pouring rain outside. So I drove up in the little truck and rescued them from the depths that is Higgins Canyon.

I show them around the house briefly, placing the ladies in the guest bedroom with the king size bed. Eric and Andy got the den, which is nice, but no king in it. We caught up in the garage with a few puffs, and finally went to bed at 4 in the morning.

The next morning I got up at my normal working hour. Worked for half a day, which I love, I wish I could work until 12 all the time. I woke up Dana and Meera when I called the house; the phone in the guest room sounds like an alarm clock and Meera kept on hitting the snooze button on the clock next to the phone. So when I was done with work, everybody was up; how convenient. We lounged around for a bit, I cooked breakfast for everybody, with many pots of coffee. I gave them a grand tour of the house, which includes the sauna box with the naked chick on it, oh those Swedes. Andy, Eric, and I had a shvitz in the sauna followed by the steam room. Everybody enjoyed the sauna better, but a steam is still refreshing. It was about this time we realized we should get a move on to pick up Andrea and Luis from the airport.

Since I am the most informed on the Bay Area, I was driving primetime. On our way to pick up pizza at Gumbas (the best pizza place ever) I rembered I was supposed to pick up Rachel, Alex Jones's girlfriend. 8 people and their things in a 7 passenger van. But this isn't a regular van, its PRIMETIME BITCH! So I knew we could handle it. We pick up Rachel, everybody starts treating Primetime like the Mystery Machine, especially in the parking lot waiting for Luis and Andrea(Team F, for FVVVVVVVV). Once we see Luis and Andrea in the pick up area, they run towards us. Still driving we try to load everybody in. Eric gets out of the van and starts running telling me to catch up to him. Of course you have to remember that everybody besides me is intoxicated, including Luis and Andrea who had a few drinks. At least they were in a sane state of mind. So while everybody is inside, I catch up to Eric yelling at him to get in; I don't want the police stop us and search our vehicle for, hrm what else besides drugs. Once we get situated and on the road, then we had to stop for a bathroom break.

Everybody else from Half Moon Bay got there before us, of course I'm always late. So I send them to the Safeway down the street for ice and soda. That took them an hour, which was great because I got there before them. We got to the apartment in SF and packed away Primetime in the garage. Freekin Cheryl, the anal lady that lives downstairs; I hadn't even gotten Primetime in the garage and already she was giving Eric her anal list of things she wants done before we leave. Poor Eric. I tell her we'll take care of it and we get upstairs and with in five minutes everybody shows up.

We start eating pizza, drinking booze. We start up the green room immediately. Andy busts out the Gas Mask. Which is literally a gas mask you hook up to a bong and you hot box your face. Everybody coughs a little, I cough a lot; except Andy, since its his toy, starts doing a dance with it and it was funny. Afterwards we are nice and lit, we continue to drink with everybody else, who are playing drinking games. I drink and start getting paranoid of the noise. Then everybody keeps on pressuring me that we should leave. We were still waiting for one more party. Robi and I go scout out a bar in his car, pick up the last party at the Bart station, then meet back with everybody in the apartment. The bar looked cool from the outside but I didn't know how to get there by public transportation. Since there were 18 of us, we needed to take public transportation, which was the plan all along. By the way Alex Jones congratulated me on bringing this many people together. I said, "I didn't really plan it, I told everybody, 'Hey, this is what I'm doing for New Years, you wanna have fun and get wasted, then come along'". I mean its always a party when your hanging with the D-Man, especially in his pants. But that was a VIP party for one...me :(

So we take the J-Line into the heart of the city, we pass by the bar that Kat wanted to go to. But I wasn't sure what stop it was. So we keep on going to meet up with another one of our homies from the Bay (a new snazzy name for Half Moon Bay, but it probably won't catch on). So we get to the door of Foley's, and Irish bar. Its a 20 dollar cover, but I tell the bouncer that were rolling 20 deep and he said to put 200 bucks in his hand and were in. For those of you mathematically challenged, that's 10 bucks a person. So while collecting the money, I realize that were are two people short, so I find them. Get there money, and we were in, it was...umm...Money...

The bar was packed, it was 30 min to midnight. We all get drinks, we find a spot to post in the back. Robi and Justin go look for girls to hook up with while we were chilling. They come back in five min empty handed. We all look at our phones and its midnight, there was no countdown or anything. The band just started playing that new years song. So we accepted it and just started to hug and wish each other a Happy New Year. Right after that, the table next to us opened up and the people left. So we played it like Germany and took over. There were a bunch of wounded soldiers on the field. Luis found a Corona with the lime still in it, that's like an unopened beer. So he took it up and was going to drink it. But he left it unattended and I swooped in on it. The bar in the back was much more accessible and while I was going to get drinks, I found another unattended Corona. I picked it up and gave it to Alex Ferenz, "Hey, I got a drink for you!" What a pal. We had fun, drinking and the sorts. Talking to each other, drinking, getting wasted. Of course Robi was having such a great time that he left early again, I'm not surprised.

The end of the night was coming up and we needed to get on the J-line train to head back. We get to the muni stop and there was one car long. As I try to pack everybody in, five get left behind. They knew where to go, I prayed for them, and sat down. On the train there were wasted people, I know a shocker, I was still kinda sober, but I had a mini bottle of vodka, so I taxed that. Anyways, a fight broke out, it was funny, I got a picture. The Muni Driver (not Mini Driver) came back to stop the fight, was there for a minute, got over it, and kept on driving. It was funny, the girls in the group kept on encouraging the guys to fight, maybe it was the chicks that started it. It was just a bunch of kicking and stuff at a large group, no blood or anything good. The whole train started singing "Kumbia" to calm everybody down, which just made the situation more comical, for me at least. It was great. One group got out at the next stop but banged on the windows while we left; they're so tough for trying to break the windows, I wish I could be like them. The muni ended at the stop before the apartment. We got out, went back to the apartment. The other five that got split up, ended up at the apartment ok in the end. We ended the night in the green room and passed out, with Eric farting the whole night in his sleep.

The next morning everybody left. The 6 from the OC and I packed into Primetime and I took them on a tour of the city. I showed them the steepest street, then Lombard, we stopped by fisherman's wharf to get some CHOW-DA in a breadbowl. Looked upon the bay, took pictures. Then headed back to my place. Everybody was telling Andrea and Luis about my house in the middle of nowhere. Eric says, "its deep with in the Sha-forest." Everybody starts busting up laughing. Then he says, "its the SHA-FORTRESS, with a Sha-fountain" From then on in, every "F" word had a Sha- thrown on the front of it. Sha-food, Sha-friends, the Sha-family. It was funny.

I cooked some Sha-food, with Eric. We BBQed steaks, corn, and made garlic bread. I had Babajohn make mash potatoes. We grubbed, to be followed some mystery machine time in the van. We watched the New Years Episode of the OC and finally had a count down. Everybody was so tired and pretty wasted that we went to bed at 12. The next morning we woke up, had some stuff to eat. They left around noon to drop Luis and Andrea off at the airport and the rest continued down south. It was sad to see them leave. I wanted to just sleep all day, but I went to hang with my brother and his friends, who went to Monterey Bay Aquarium, to see a great white shark. It was less than impressive and they took 20 bucks to get in. I wish I stayed home since somebody wasn't enjoying my pirate jokes. I wish I could have gone back down south with everybody...