Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Deep Thought of the Day

Have you ever been sitting somewhere, usually at work, drinking a coke and you think, "Wow, you know what this coke really needs? Some ALCOHOL!" If you close your eyes and take a drink you can imagine that it does have booze in it; but once you open your eyes, you look ahead and the room isn't spinning, everybody still looks ugly to you, and you don't have the sudden urge to sleep with everybody in the room. You're still pissed that you're at work, sober, and its still only 8:05 AM.

Why does Santa look so happy on the side of my coke can? He's holding a coke, with the biggest smile on his face; I bet his coke has some Rum in it, or maybe Cognac, Santa seems like a yac man. Either that or it doesn't show the rest of the picture where Mrs. Clause is servicing the captain. This has been Deep Thoughts with Jack Handley.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAA, HERE WE COMMMMEE

Ok, I'm going to get this out of the way...I'M ADDICTED TO THE OC. Everybody thought it would be dumb! Which, in all fairness, it kind of is....BUT, my former roommates and I watched the first episodes like all five times they showed it (which is my favorite episode). The next time this episode came on we convinced our friends to come and watch it. We started it off as a drinking game, but it has become so much more.

The first episode was so ridiculously NOT the OC. I went to college in the OC, UC Irvine, which borders Newport Beach, the home of the show. So I know what goes on there, or lack of what goes on there. We made our own fun and I loved it. The first episode had parties at peoples beach houses; where girls were wearing bikini's, people were doing drugs (pot, coke, shooting up, and of course hooka's), and there were multiple kegs. In my four years in the OC, I've never been to a party like that, believe me I looked. My friends and I had thrown quite a few good parties; people puked/ran into glass doors/keg stands, cops came, we got evicted, we've even had the guitarist from Rufio come to our party once. But never were ALL the girls in bikinis doing pot and coke, I think I would have remembered that; well maybe not, pot makes me ummm what was I saying, hrm I forgot.

So anyways, back to the drinking aspect of it; because if you've read the previous entries, I love to drink. Since the party was not a true reflection of Orange County, and then the fight during the party followed by Luke's (WE MISS YOU!) best line, "Welcome to the OC bitch, This is how we do it in the Orange County." Which I've never heard anybody say. This made me think, that should be a drink, to make it bearable. So anything that is out of proportion, parties with coke, peoples shallow comments, building up the OC, the constant use of the word "the"; its all one drink each. We usually just drink beer, if you want to go to the hospital use hard alcohol. Its a little hard to play the game if you haven't lived in the OC, because you don't know how low key and republican the Orange County truly is. But just compare it to living in middle America, you know the type of place that kept that FUCK Bush in office, I guess. Like I said its hard if you live outside the OC. The rules aren't set in stone, we tried, but gave up and just kept on drinking. Pretty much when anybody goes, "ohhhhhhhhh DRINK!!!!!" you DRINK. Pleated skirts (Oh my gawd) that's a drink (with uggs that's a definite 2 drinks); one strap backpack, that's a drink; UC Irvine (UCI) references are drinks (well of course) how much you drink depends on how much you love UCI (Mateo); new rule since the dogs name is Dustin (what a great name) that's a drink anytime its said; almost anything that summer says, since it is so shallow, that's a drink; when there is kissing that's one drink, doing it (slipping the sausage, the horizontal mambo, sinking the bat, bumpin ugglies, getting busy, laying down carpet, making whoopee, planting the seed, driving the skin boat into tuna town, playin hide the pickle, fuggin,) that's two drinks. When the parents or old people are kissing or having sex, that's double the drinks as stated in the previous sentence. And if there is another Mrs. Robinson thing going on again (like with Luke and Julie) that's triple normal amount.

I could keep on going, but I'm not going to. You get the basic idea. I was reading an article that Andrea sent me and I like this quote from it, "FOX's drama reflecting off of 'The OC's' surface, below that mirage is actual depth and intelligence. It's an HBO series masquerading as a WB drama airing on typically shallow FOX." That sums it up; so watch it, breathe it, get into it, love it. If you haven't seen the OC, and want a quick catch up guide go to this website;
http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=172172

I was talking to John (who is sick of the theme song I keep on playing on my Ipod at work), he said, "you make fun of that show, but deep down you're in love with it, and its A SOAP OPERA." I know! I AM ADDICTED. Its like crack, one hit, YOU NEED MORE! I can't get enough, want to get with all the girls on the show, I want to chill with all the dudes on the show, I WANT TO BE TAKEN IN AND LIVE IN SOMEBODY'S POOL HOUSE!

Like all my passions, it starts off with drinking; and it goes down hill from there.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Quote of the Week

"If the world needed an enema, Cochella would be where they'd stick it in"
-Chuck